Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
