Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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