you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
