He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Sext me about skeletons
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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