I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
