I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
