I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
