break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
