I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
