I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
