i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
