so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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