sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
