Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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