Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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