i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
