We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
