i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
