Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
