I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
