Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I could fuck to npr.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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