Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
