Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Randomize
