C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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