I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
