i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
