I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
