I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
