my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
How external is "for external use only"?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
