it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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