No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
