You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
