Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Randomize
