There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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