I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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