It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
