i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I look better un-naked...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
