I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
