Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
my being single is dangerous.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
