so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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