How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
