This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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