I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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