it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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