you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
