bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
