my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
ok first of all what the fuck
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
