come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
