perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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