She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
now i know why i became what i already was.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
