We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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